And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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