farters have to be the big spoon...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize