So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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