i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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