The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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