Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize