I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
