I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
