What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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