He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
