In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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