Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
