Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
