He disabled his match.com account in front of me
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
