Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
3 2 1 whiskey
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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