In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
ttyl tear gas
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
