Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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