I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The air was thick with penises
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
