Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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