dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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