yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
