I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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