FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
