PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
