Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
