I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
