After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
