Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
