im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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