I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
