Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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