I look better un-naked...
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
