It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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