So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
