this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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