Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
