exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
babies were throwing up all over the place
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
