Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize