I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
