I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize