He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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