Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
