I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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