try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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