never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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