somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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