Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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