am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize