This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
North Korea, Best Korea!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
