I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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