It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
