I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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