i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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