i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
