It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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