I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
