and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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