yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
