I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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