You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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