I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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