THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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