I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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