For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
