with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
