a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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